Your Voice: I’m sorry, but …. The fine art of a sincere apology

Some people think that making an apology is a weakness. Saying sorry threatens their vanity and sense of self. Only weak personalities apologize. This is a misconception.

An apology is, in fact, evidence of strength of character and shows confidence. It does not lower prestige, as some might think. If you have transgressed against any member of society, young or old, employee or colleague, intentionally or not, and you apologize, you are in a position of strength, not weakness.

Apologizing indicates a high ethic, and is one type of civilized human behavior that could be seen as an art, but is not considered very highly by a large segment of the population. Unfortunately, not many of us are proficient in the art of the apology. You will find most of us make excuses, not apologies. We will make excuse after excuse but not actually apologize. We don’t just suffer from ignorance of an apology culture, but we also wear the cloak of fear that apologizing makes us imperfect and unimportant.

Apologizer, do not justify your apology with fake excuses, since the excuse is worse than the transgression itself. Offer a real, sincere apology from the deepest of your heart and express your regrets over something you did to return things to normal. Apologize to those who gave you most of their time, and you exchanged that for much less than that. Apologize to those who lined up for your false excuses and promises which ended up disappointing them. Apologize for those you let down, over and over again, time after time until they became a victim of being let down and now feel distrustful.

We desperately need to rearrange our educational priorities to include a culture of apology. This needs to be developed for all members of society as it will contribute positively to our culture and benefit the souls of our children. Apologizing is a virtue, an etiquette, a social ethic and a high human art, and the spread of this culture is important so that relationships are strengthened and bonds increased; hatreds die and grudges disappear. It is a triumph over self-inflicted misfortune and stubbornness, which in the past has destroyed people, nations, and civilizations. Therefore, take the initiative to apologize and admit your mistakes. 

Apologizer, it is unnecessary to follow your apology with the word, “but!”

Your Voice reflects the thoughts and opinions of the writer, and not necessarily those of the publication.